Archive for February, 2003

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Last night, my hubs came home from Delaware (he wo…

28 February 2003

Last night, my hubs came home from Delaware (he works there Mon-Thurs which is a bitch/blessing sometimes). We went to the Outback Restaurant and I had my fill of RIBS!! Ribs are on my top-10 list of foods! All in all, it was a good evening and I had a fabulous time. Going to the Outback on Thursdays is becoming a tradition!

Yesterday was the last day of the NY/NJ Bar exam which some of my friends took. (CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL YOU, by the way!) Lucky for me, I didn’t have to go through the agony of the bar a second time. To say that the Bar is unpleasant is quite an understatement. So tonight, my friends and I are going to happy hour after work to celebrate the end of the Bar!! I’m totally looking forward to it! Have a few drinks, chat w/ the ladies, maybe go dance, and the whole-9. It should be fabulous!! (yes, I use the word fabulous a lot…my friends do know me as ghetto-fab kat =).

But for now, I’m at work. A few folks are out sick today (including my boss) so it’s nice and quiet and I’m doing some catch-up work. Working for the government is great for a lot of reasons:

a) you only work from 8:30-4:30 pm with a paid hour for lunch

b) you get 15 vacation days; 3 personal days; and 12 sick days for a total of 30 days

c) you get 13 official court holidays on top of the 30 days that you already have

d) you get let out early if the weather sucks (e.g., news of heavy rain or snow); if there’s a holiday (e.g., you get to leave at 1:30 pm on Dec. 24); or if there’s something going on.

e) health and dental and optical benefits!

f) your co-workers will bring in snacks and baked goodies all the time for no reason at all

My clerkship is only a 1-year term and I get all those benefits above (of course, if you are a non-law clerk, the vacation days may be less, but you still get all of the above). Of course, I don’t leave at 4:30 on the dot…I do stay until I finish work and I’ve left at 7:30 pm, but for the most part, my day is done by 5 pm. Which is why I’m going to miss this job. It’s funny too how your co-workers will act. They get mad when they aren’t let out by 2 pm on Thanksgiving, and they act all pissy when the Judge is still on the bench after 12:30 pm (heaven forbid they don’t get to eat lunch at 12:30 pm on the dot!!) –they just have this sense of entitlement that is very amusing considering that the real world of work out there is not nearly half as easy-going! I mean, if you were working for a corporate firm, leaving at 7 pm is leaving early…you know what I mean?? So that is why I’ll miss my clerkship….

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Today’s Topic:<i> Married Life and Things that Com…

27 February 2003

Today’s Topic:i> Married Life and Things that Come With It, Part I

I got married when I was 24 (actually, a month before my 25th b-day). So that’s pretty young considering today’s society. So yes, I still act young and irresponsible. I have no clue how to handle my finances, no investments except for a puny CD, no assets to speak of. But with marriage comes the fact that you now have to deal with your money. Not just your own money, but your spouse’s as well. In fact, you now have to think about sharing what little money you have with someone else. I feel bad for my hubs who has to support me because I haven’t had an income until Sept. 2002 (when I got my first annual income). He is the best!! He is so supportive of me financially, emotionally, and every other way you can think of. But I feel like such a big moocher. Whatever piddly little income I have, I put it into our joint account and that’s supposed to go towards buying a house.

The House Thing: Is there a written rule out there that once you get married, you’re supposed to buy a house, have some kids, get a pet, and live in idllyic suburbia all of a sudden? I never thought of buying a house until I got married, and now, my hubs and I are trying to save money to get one of these things. Problem is, I still have my heart set on living in NYC, hereafter, the “city”. I can’t pin-point out exactly why I’m holding onto the idea of living in a nice loft with cool furniture. I guess it may have to do with being scared of being seen as this suburban person or being trapped in suburbia. Most likely it’s because heck, I love the city!! But I can certainly compromise on the living thing. The house would have to be in Fort Lee, NJ, where we live now. Why? Because it’s only 10 mins into the city via the GW Bridge, and getting to downtown NY is fairly quick. In fact, I have gotten into Tribeca in 20 mins. tops on a Tuesday night at 7 pm. But do you see how suddenly, marriage comes with the idea that you have to have a house? Now, I care about buying a house and looking forward to decorating it and other fun stuff! Now, I actually want a home when I never thought about it before getting married! However, Fort Lee is expensive, and I just found out (using a mortgage calculator) that we can’t afford a nice 3-br home. So at this rate, we probably won’t have a house until next year. Phooey.

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Today’s Topic: Friendship, Part I In my opinion…

26 February 2003

Today’s Topic: Friendship, Part I

In my opinion, the older you get, the harder it is for you to forge a new friendship. Likewise, the older you get, the harder it is to sustain certain friendships that you’ve had for a while. It’s also hard to maintain friendships depending on how you’ve “compartamentalized” them.

Exhibit 1: “High School” friends –you know you still have them in your life. I have a really good friend I met in junior high, we lost touch somewhere near the end of high school, but then rekindled it after we graduated from college. This girl knows me. What kind of books I read, my hobbies, goals in life, you name it. But unfortunately, we don’t live in the same state. So we don’t communicate nearly as much as I’d like to. I always feel like I am the one reaching out, sending e-mails, etc.

Exhibit 2(a): “College” friends –to be honest, I felt I’ve squandered my college experience because I didn’t make nearly enough good friends as I should’ve or left some friendships to dry out. Why is this? Because I was in a bad relationship during college that I spent most of my time in. Time spent which I TOTALLY REGRET. But let’s not talk about regrets now (more on that some other day). But I did end up with a few goods friends here and there. We still keep in touch, but now they are more like acquaintances. I see these folks once and a while, but I feel these friendships are becoming strained in that we are all in our own worlds. Some of them, I am would like to be close with, but friendship is a 2-way street.

I have a good college friend who totally surprised me a few months ago with a hurtful e-mail saying I always criticize her and her decisions in life, and that I always want “acknowledgment” when I plan dinners and things like that. I’m like, what the fuck?! Seriously, I see this girl maybe once a month tops, and during those moments, we don’t talk about anything serious, let alone discuss what she wants to do in life. So I ask her to explain and she’s like, “nevermind, let’s not talk about it. Let’s pretend nothing happened.” Needless to say, I haven’t made plans to see her lest I rub her the wrong way again for no reason at all. To tell you the truth, I’m still pretty peeved. I don’t know what will happen.

Exhibit 2(b): “Post College” friends –I have made some really goods friends after college. Some of them I went to law school with, or met at work, etc. But once you stop hanging out on a regular basis, I feel you begin to lose touch. Heck, after graduating, some friends wouldn’t even meet up for drinks on my birthday because they were too busy studying for the Bar Exam. Come on. What is a 2-hour break in the grand scheme of things? Yes, I know the Bar is VERY IMPORTANT, but life doesn’t stop just because you have a test. Lots of things went on during the time I had to study. Major things that have brought emotional turmoil to my life, but I carried on.

Yes, I know we are all busy with work, life, family, etc. But if you think something is important to you, shouldn’t you make time? I feel like I’m always the one reaching to keep in touch. I am always the one sending Christmas cards and other forms of correspondence. I put an effort in being thoughtful and get good presents I think my friends would like. I plan get-togethers to try to keep in touch with my friends’ lives (it’s so hard to do this by the way since most of the time, they say no thanks.). And I e-mail them (well, that’s partly also because I feel bored at work sometimes =).

I know I don’t have to do any of the above stuff, but the point is, I want to when it comes to friends I care about. (Disclaimer: I don’t do this for every single acquaintance that I have, just good friends). The problem is, I expect these things back. Let me explain, I don’t expect presents back, what I expect is the same amount of respect, concern, and thoughtfulness that I show to certain friends. I was told that I was expecting too much and my standards are high regarding friendships. Maybe I should just expect the fact that this is true. But really, I’m pretty easy-going, low-maintenance (most of the time, expect when it comes to clothes –different story!), and I’m easy to please. So what I expect back it really very minimal work. Like an invite to go get a cup o’ joe; go watch a flick; a card saying you’re sorry for being such a bitch!!; go out for drinks; Anything!

Oh well. *Sigh* I am expecting too much. I’m sure people feel the same way about me sometimes. In any case, I will stop whining because I know certain folks may think I’m this needy, super-emotional person. Which I am not. Really. My point after all these ramblings: Take the time to show your friends you care about them too. Period.

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i just feel like the weekends are never long enoug…

25 February 2003

i just feel like the weekends are never long enough. i was a little sick this past weekend so i spent very little time outside my apt. saturday: i went to the mall for a couple of hours, then went home; sunday: went to church, then to a family party, then went home. that’s it. so then comes monday, and the whole ordeal of works repeats all over again.

do you work to live or live to work? why can’t we have 4-day work weeks and 3-day weekends? everyone will be so much happier i think! not that i dread my current job…it’s actually pretty cushy..it’s just “the real world” i’m a little scared of. starting september, when my clerkship is over, i’ll be an actual practicing attorney. how the hell am i supposed to know what to do? to top it all of, someone will be depending on me to KNOW what to do…great! and heck, folks are already asking me legal advice! my answer: uhm, i don’t know. heheheh….

this sunday, i’m looking forward to going riding at mt. creek w/ some friends! one of my dreams is to be able to do a beautiful trick involving lots of air!! like kelly clark or tara karides! right now, i can only do the occasional rail and a half-hearted jump here and there. if i can only get throught the FEAR i’ll be fine….anyway, this sunday will be sweet! i am going to swallow my fear and just practice my heart out! can’t wait….of course, once sunday’s over with, it’s back to the daily grind.

which reminds me, i have to go back to work….

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today was my last day of CLE class (that’s "contin…

8 February 2003

today was my last day of CLE class (that’s “continuing legal education” for all you lucky, non-legal folks). had to wake up at 7:30 am…came home the night before at 2 am or so from a friend’s party. had a blast hanging out with old friends and felt like i was back in the posh, NYC scene. not that i’m into trendy hotspots or anything like that. just meant that it was good to back in the city, in a comfy lounge with interesting people and good hip-hop. wish i could’ve stayed much longer…*yawn*…still sleepy. but now i gotta do homework for this CLE class. it’s dues on wed, but i gotta do it early b/c i leaving to go to vermont tomorrow morning….it’ll be a fun, 3 days of riding in fresh snow! yay! so more later…must do work. ugh.

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yup, decided to join the world of blogging..figure…

7 February 2003

yup, decided to join the world of blogging..figured it would be a great way to get me to write. this way, i’ll get my writing exercises done, but disguise it so that my brain doesn’t think i’m actually “working on something.”

it’s friday..getting ready to leave work. then it’s off to my friend’s birthday party tonight. not looking forward to the drive though b/c of all the snow. i’m scared of spinning out or sliding…not fun. but i’ll brave it since i haven’t been to the city in a while. i love the city, hanging out, breathing in the smoggy, not-so-fresh, city air. it’s just very dynamic. can’t be duplicated anywhere else. i’m talking about NYC, by the way, in case folks get confused. wish i was rich and could buy a 4-story brownstone somewhere in the west village complete with a little garden in the back. went inside one once last year; it was owned by this older, child-less couple who only lived in their brownstone 6 months out of the year. crazy. wonder who’s it going to after they die? it’s probably worth at least $3M. well i’d be happy w/ a penthouse too…but then i’m dreaming. only in NYC do people find it okay to shell out huge amount of dough of such little square feet of housing. but i understand it completely. heck, i’d do it too.