I have come to the realization that I am broke. R…

25 February 2004

I have come to the realization that I am broke. Really. I just opened my credit card bill and it was absolutely ghastly (said in Brit accent, of course). It’s nearing the 4 zeroes range and I’m beginning to panic. Okay, it’s not that near…but not that far either. I like to think that I just pay a monthly fee and so what if the balance climbs as long as I keep up the payments. But now it seems the balance just keeps on growing! I’m scared! And it’s not like I’ve been using it either. The last big purchase I had was my new laptop (which I’m using right now =). And for the past months, I’ve only been using my ATM card for all little purchases. Damn. I rarely worry about money (not because I think I have it, because I don’t), but it’s sad to know that I sort of live paycheck to paycheck. And without the hubs, I would definitely be living paycheck to paycheck! (But please, if you say I am “supported” by him, I will kick yer arse!) Well, this is just brilliant. I’m almost thirty years old and have nothing to show for! It sucks to know your life is limited by money. Which is not to say that you can’t enjoy life of course (and yes, I know how fortunate I am). All I’m saying is that it would be nice to splurge here and there without having to worry about the repercussions.

Sex and the City. I would just like to give a toast to the end of a brilliant show! I saw the last ever episode last Sunday, and I must say, it brought tears to my eyes! I love this show not because I think it’s a realistic representation of single life In New York. I love it because it emphasizes the many great things about life and it’s set in New York (which is the city I call home). The show is both real yet almost farcical in a way. I mean, the situations can be ludicrous, but at the same time, they are still believable because of the characters and the setting of the story. Take Carrie and her shoes. No freaking writer can own 100 pairs of Manolo Blahniks and Christian Leboutins! And Oscar de la Renta and Dior couture! But she’s still a believeable person because of her emotions, her relationships with her friends, her relationship drama, her neuroses. It’s a great mix of everything and I love it! And I will miss it!

The Kid Stays in the Picture. Why is it that married couples are expected to have children? (And yes, I know you don’t have to be married to have children, I’m just saying that there is still a societal expectation that married people are to propagate the world). And that opting to not have children is still considered a deviation from the norm? It’s weird. I’ve never questioned the idea that I would be a mom one day. It’s akin to my thinking that college would be a given after high school. Both are concepts I never really had to debate in my head. It was a given that I would go to college, and it was a given that I would have kids. But is it? I can envision my life without children –it would be like it is now. Just me and hubs. Definitely less financial worries I can tell you that. I can do things whenever I want to and we can go wherever we want to without worrying about anything. I can also envision my life with kids. Both the good and bad parts. Waking up at 3 am to pacify the crying baby; toilet training; cleaning up constantly; trying to raise kids with morals and a backbone; your needs basically coming second to your kids needs. I have no idea how my parents did it and do it! I’m selfish!

Se Habla Espanol. I’m taking Spanish language classes to try to better skills. It would certainly come in handy with talking to my victims. My first class is tomorrow at Bergen County Community College. Bueno suerte!

America’s Next Top Model. Sarah is out! So sad! I thought she was beautiful! Especially with her sad and expressive eyes. And go Tyra for her venture into the music industry. Her new joint is catchy, I must say!


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