Archive for April, 2005


The Pretender Ever feel like you’re just pretendi…

28 April 2005

The Pretender

Ever feel like you’re just pretending to be someone you’re not? And that any minute now, someone will discover who you really are and expose you? I’m talking about work. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong or don’t fit in my work environment. Most of the time I really don’t know what I’m doing and I’m just coasting along. Like I’m just play-acting and one day, someone will notice that I’m not really a lawyer and point out that I don’t know jack-shit.

I’m been ‘practicing’ since October 2003. (It’s funny how attorneys use the term ‘practice’ to describe their years in the trade.) Well, in this field, I am definitely a rookie. I know it’ll take time in order to be more seasoned. Sometimes I wish I can just fast forward to a time where I’ll already have about 8-10 years experience under my belt. I always go to someone with more experience to get advice and run my ideas. (Hm…on that note, I think my supervisors are sick of answering my questions and probably think I’m a dunce). Sometimes though, I’m just overwhelmed at the idea that I’m responsible for a single case. My colleagues tell me that I shouldn’t take things so personal, but I do sometimes. And when I do, that’s when I get the overwhelming feeling of responsibility. I guess I just have to learn how to balance it all.

I went to law school out of default –as in I didn’t really put much thought into it. I graduated from college and wanted to work for a year or so. My parents were the ones who insisted I just go to law school right away, and for lack of a reason not to (that and I needed to renew my student visa) I just went. But I always knew that I wanted a job in the non-profit and public service sector. So during law school, my experience involved working for government agencies. Job-wise, my only two choices were either to be a prosecutor or a public defender. I knew that corporate law was not for me (although that’s where the money is, as most people pointed out to me.)

Well I was lucky enough to land my job. And here I am questioning my ability. Well I know I’m not stupid. I know I am smart and cultured. I’m also very sincere. But in this game, you also need to be confident, articulate, and know how to sell yourself. I need to hone my skills in that area and learn how to be cocky. I need to learn how to play the game, essentially. Right now, I’m tired of attorneys referring to me as a “young lady” who needs to speak to her supervisor all the time. I want to emote a sense of authority.

Can I do it? Do I do it now? Sure. Sometimes. I mean, I know what I’m doing on a day-to-day basis of course. There are even days when I’m mighty proud of myself. I shoot down counter-offers and argue to get my way. I’ve won several bench trials already. But I still need to learn the lawyer swagger that I see in some of my adversaries. I just want to be comfortable in my lawyer skin and have years of experience already. I hate feeling unsure of my self when something comes up. I don’t want to feel like I’m just pretending to be who I’m not. In due time I guess.

Song of the Day:

New Hampshire by Sonic Youth (yes, same as yesterday!)
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Random Scribbles of the Day All In! I played pok…

27 April 2005

Random Scribbles of the Day

All In!

I played poker (Texas Hold ‘Em-style) with some friends last Saturday. We started playing around 8:30 pm and guess what time it ended? 3:30 a.m! Craziness. And we only played two rounds! I won the first round ($25) and the hubs won the second round ($60). I think my game has vastly improved. This time, I had a lot of staying power. I think I would’ve had a good chance on the second round if I weren’t so freaking sleepy. I kept going ‘all in’ just so I could get out of the game! We are playing again this Friday and I’m prepared to win!

To add to my poker craze, I’ve also signed up to play at So if anyone happens to be playing in there as well, I am “djkat.”

Real Estate Reality

It’s definitely hard to find a ‘starter home’ under $300K here in the Tri-State Area (NY, NJ, and CT). It goes without saying that the closer you are to the city, the more expensive it’ll be. The farther away you live from NYC, the more deals you can get in terms of real estate. Or you can also choose to live in a not-so-great neighborhood and find a deal. According to this article, in my county alone, there are only a handful of homes listed that are under $300K. Apparently, between Jan. 1 and March 20, of this year, the average price for single-family homes under contract in Bergen County was $576,024! The good news is that our house has definitely increased in value. On the other hand, we can’t exactly sell and move to a bigger home in Bergen County because we can’t afford it. We’d have to move out of the county to make money and live farther away from NYC.

I would ideally like to stay where I am but move to a bigger house one day. I like where I live even though my friends still make comments about me living in NJ. (Note to friends: Stop the comments about NJ. It’s old, tired, and definitely annoying). I want a walk-in closet and a space that I can turn into a guest-room/studio/library. The hubs and I have plans to stay in our home for a long time. When we have money, we’re planning on renovating the kitchen and patio, and re-do the entire second floor. Well, that’s the plan at least. My other dream is to live in a loft or a brownstone in NY (and that will definitely stay a dream! According to this article, the average apartment in NYC is selling for a million and the average price per square foot climbed to $910!)

The Traveling Bug

I’ve caught the traveling bug! I really want to travel this year to somewhere I’ve never been before. Initially, my top two choices this year was either Indonesia or Costa Rica. More specifically, it would be a surfing trip to either one of these places. Costa Rica in particular, has great surf camps that include lodging, food, lesson, and the whole nine. I think it would be cool to just trek out there. Although I would go by myself, I’m trying to get at least one other person to come with me (just so I’d have someone to explore the nightlife with me). We’ll see. It’s rather pricey, but I figure it would be a birthday present to myself.

But as it stands, I may end up going on a cruise with my parents and brothers (sans the hubs). We’re looking at a cruise that goes to the following places: Belize City (Belize); Riviera Maya and Cozumel (Mexico); and George Town (Grand Cayman Islands). My parents want to go in July and have invited my brothers and I! So either way, I think I will end up going to a new place I’ve never been before!

Negative Numbers

Last Friday, I went out with some friends for dinner and stopped by the ATM machine. Imagine my surprise when it told me I had no money in it! ACK!! I had negative one hundred-plus dollars in my account. OH FOR SHAME! How sad am I? I think it was all those tickets I bought for upcoming shows that did me in. I just went to a show 2 weeks ago, but I am going to about 5 more shows within the next month and half. Egads…can’t spend anything else now!

Song of the Day:

New Hampshire by Sonic Youth
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Screaming Fields of Sonic Love I saw Sonic Youth …

20 April 2005

Screaming Fields of Sonic Love

I saw Sonic Youth this past Saturday at Maxwell’s –this tiny music venue in Hoboken, NJ. The last time I saw Sonic Youth was circa 1993 in Los Angeles. I don’t remember how I started listening to them, but I’m a big fan.

Sonic Youth has been around since the early 80’s. Their music defies a specific genre but most music critics would describe them as ‘art rock’, ‘noise’, or ‘experimental.’ And they are definitely experimental –we’re talking manipulation of guitar feedback, noise effects, creation of soundscapes, and everything in between. They have a way of putting things together and coming out with a great song. Their songs definitely vary. Some are just positively haunting and soothing; others sound very angry and completely rock-n-roll. I would say they are a “love them or hate them” kind of band. To me, of course, they just plain ROCK!

I was surprised that the acoustics sounded so well at Maxwell’s (considering it was the size of a large living room). I think the intimate atmosphere made the show even better. It almost felt like a private show. Sonic Youth came to stage using the same door as everyone else. The crowd parted and gave them way to climb up the stage. Damn. They are so cool. To me, they have not aged a bit even though everyone was a decade older than the last time I saw them (and they are now pushing 45+ years old). Thurston Moore was very personable and kept cracking jokes. Kim Gordon was uber-cool as usual! The rest of the band was just as fantastic. Overall, the show kicked arse! I just wished they played some more of their early 90’s stuff.

Check out these gorgeous photos taken by Subinev. He has inspired me take a more artistic approach when it comes to taking pictures at shows. Aren’t they just amazing?

Sonic Youth
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Thurston Moore with Steve Shelley at the drums
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Lee Ranaldo and Jim O’Rourke
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Kim Gordon kicking arse
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Song of the Day:

Stones by Sonic Youth
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I Heart the 80’s Last Tuesday, I went out for dri…

14 April 2005

I Heart the 80’s

Last Tuesday, I went out for drinks for a friend’s birthday at Bob’s –this tiny joint I frequent in the Lower East Side. My friends had a standing DJ-ing gig every Tuesday night. That night’s music was all about the 80’s. We’re talking Bobby Brown’s Every Little Step; A-Ha’s Take on Me; Erasure; New Order; the whole-nine. I was pretty pleased. There’s nothing like music from the 80’s to take you on a trip down memory lane. (Unless of course, you were born in the 80’s and have no affiliation with some of the aforementioned artists).

I am very enthusiastic about the fact that there’s been this ‘retro-movement’ in today’s alternative music. There’s this newfound appreciation for bands from the late 70’s/80’s/early 90’s and it shows in today’s new bands. Bands like Interpol, The Killers, The Bravery, etc, all credit their sound to the influence of bands like The Cure, Duran Duran, and Joy Division. Heck, these bands themselves have come out of hibernation and have started touring again (with the exception of Joy Division of course)!

As you all know, I saw The Cure several times last year for their Curiosa Tour. Now, Duran Duran’s on tour, as well as Erasure and New Order! Incidentally, tickets are freaking sold out for these shows and I can’t even go see some bands unless I’m willing to shell out at least $100 per ticket! Gasp! As much as I love them, I don’t have that kind of money to spare. How sad that some folks are milking true fans of money and depriving them of the opportunity to enjoy their favorite artists.

I would looove to watch New Order because they may do a rendition of “Love Will Tear Us Apart” or other Joy Division songs. I’d also love to go to Coachella this year, but I cannot afford it. Plus, I’m not a die-hard fan of the headliners this year. It would still be a great musical experience though. Coachella is definitely the “new Lollapalooza.”

Song of the Day:

Narc by Interpol
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Happy Monday ! Welcome back to the daily grind fo…

11 April 2005

Happy Monday !

Welcome back to the daily grind folks!

Imagine my surprise when I found out this morning that my blog is on Pinoy Bloggers’ Top 10 List! Neat-o! I have no idea how I was voted or what the voting criteria is, but hey, who am I to complain! THANKS! It truly made my Monday morning!

Other than that, Monday was its usual blah-yet-stressful-try-to-play-catch-up self. Mondays are not my happy days because it’s just really bogged down. Here’s a rundown of how my Monday usual looks (I got the idea from Ms. Pinayhekmi):

Daily Grind
7:00-7:15 a.m. The hubs finishes his shower and tells me it’s my turn. I wake up. Haul self to bathroom. Shower.

7:15-7:45 a.m. Decide what to wear. Pick out suit and top underneath. Get ready. The news is on. Try to see if anything exciting is going on as I get ready.

7:45-8:05 a.m. Make coffee. Prepare lunch. Get out door. Start car and pick the morning’s driving music. Franz Ferdinand it is for today.

8:05-8:50 a.m. Commute to work. Go through 95 South (aka the NJ Turnpike). Connect to the 1-9 Highway (aka Highway to Hell). Get to Jersey City and manuever through crazy traffic. I swear, driving through the streets of Jersey City will be the death of me. Drink coffee as I drive. Park car in lot. Walk to office building.

8:50-8:54 a.m. Climb 6 flights of stairs to office.

8:54-9:15 a.m. Devour breakfast. Usually cereal or oatmeal. Occasionally, indulge in coffee and donut (or croissant) from Dunkin’ Donuts (but not the new healthy Kat!) Check e-mail and v-mail.

9:15-1:30 p.m. Court time. Become light-headed as blood-sugar drops around 12:15 pm.

1:30-2:15 p.m. Quickie lunch. Check e-mail and v-mail.

2:15-3:30 p.m. Back to court for rest of calendar.

3:30-5:00 p.m. Desk time! Go over files from the day. Check stuff for tomorrow. Return phone calls/e-mail. Fool around. Shoot the shit with co-workers. Discuss work. Worry about work.

5:00-5:35 p.m. Drive home. Easier than drive to work.

5:35-6:00 p.m. Chill. Watch TV. Greet hubs as he comes home at about 6 pm.

6:oo-7:00 p.m. Prepare dinner (or heat up left overs or order in). More TV in between.

7:00-7:30 p.m. Eat. Pack stuff for band practice. Late for practice.

7:30-8:00 p.m. Drive to studio. Same commute as if going to work, except with slightly less traffic.

8:00-10:00 p.m. Practice with band.

10:00-10:30 p.m. Drive home.

10:30-12 a.m. Relax. Vegetate. Sleep.

I deviated from today’s schedule though. Instead of making it to band practice, I had dinner with my cousin who I hardly ever see. So tonight, I met up with my cousin for dinner at 7 pm at Bali Nusa (in Hell’s Kitchen). Great food! Even better company! Got home at 10 pm. Am now blogging.

Now, I’m calling it a day!

Currently listening to:
by Danzig
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150 Things About Me (Updated 4.6.05: I recently up…

5 April 2005

150 Things About Me

(Updated 4.6.05: I recently updated this and added more facts because a friend pointed out that it seemed “bitin” –as if it was unfinished).

  1. My brothers and I have huge age gaps in between – Eric was born on July 10, 1984 and Mikey was born on November 2, 1990.
  2. I lived in the Philippines until I was almost 13 years old.
  3. My family moved to Los Angeles, CA right before my 13th birthday.
  4. I lived in L.A. from May 1989- July 1995.
  5. My parents moved to NYC the summer after my sophomore year in high school.
  6. I stayed behind in L.A. to finish high school.
  7. I moved to NYC in July 1995 to attend college and follow my family.
  8. I lived in NYC until May 2001.
  9. I have not fully lived with my parents since August 1993.
  10. I used to be a ‘Goth’ in high school.
  11. Yeah, I was voted most likely to join a cult. Go figure.
  12. But I was popular nonetheless. No, I’m not kidding. Our school was small, you can’t help but know everyone else.
  13. I was voted Homecoming Princess at some point in time.
  14. I didn’t go to the dance though.
  15. I snuck off to be with my boyfriend instead.
  16. The Cure is my all-time favorite band. Hands-down.
  17. I graduated 7th (out of a class of 19 seniors) from high school.
  18. I got married right before my last year of law school on June 1, 2001.
  19. I did all my wedding prep while studying for finals. Fun.
  20. We didn’t go on a honeymoon until after I graduated from law school a year after.
  21. We went to Fiji for 2 weeks and stayed here.
  22. When we came back, I had to study for the bar exam. Also fun.
  23. I went to college with my husband’s younger brother.
  24. But I didn’t meet the hubs through him
  25. I like to drive efficiently (read: fast).
  26. If you are going too slow or cut me off, I will “flash my lights” at you; honk at you for miles on end; go around you and give you the finger.
  27. My mother does not like to ride cars with me because of this.
  28. The hubs thinks I will get shot one day because of this.
  29. I am in love with books and can spend HOURS in a bookstore or library.
  30. I learned to read when I was 3 years old (according to my mom).
  31. When I was 12 years old, my reading level was that of a college senior.
  32. I am a fast reader.
  33. I once finished an entire Judy Blume novel during a 6th grade English class.
  34. I own tons of books and have given/donated a lot away during the course of my life.
  35. I would love to have a house with an actual library room.
  36. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 4 years old.
  37. I’m a lawyer instead (and write on the side, sorta).
  38. I try not to look so conventional at work and wear ‘funkier’ suits.
  39. I think I’m too free-spirited to be an attorney.
  40. I have 5 tattoos (and plan to get more).
  41. I play the electric guitar as a hobby.
  42. I used to be in a band in high school.
  43. When I got to college, I stopped playing guitar and forgot everything I learned.
  44. After Sept. 11, I bought myself a guitar and learned it all over again.
  45. Now, I’m in an alternative rock band as a hobby.
  46. This doesn’t mean I’m an amazing guitar-player.
  47. I wish I can play guitar like Page or Hendrix or The Edge. That would so rock.
  48. I consider myself shy.
  49. I don’t like public speaking.
  50. Yet I have to be in court everyday for my job.
  51. And I like planning parties and organizing get-togethers.
  52. I’m moody, quiet, pensive and critical.
  53. I try hard not to be a judgmental person.
  54. I’m against the death penalty.
  55. Yet I’m pro-choice.
  56. I want to be a young mom.
  57. But I’m scared to be one.
  58. I already have a name picked out for a daughter.
  59. But I would rather have twin baby boys. Efficiency.
  60. I love to travel.
  61. But I hate, hate being cooped up in a plane.
  62. I also hate going to the gym.
  63. I can get insecure about my body.
  64. But I accept the fact that I have to exercise in order to be healthy.
  65. I have a high cholesterol level according to my doctor.
  66. I’m a food whore in many ways.
  67. I can polish off a pint of ice cream in one sitting easily.
  68. My top five favorite foods are: pork sinigang, BBQ baby back ribs, lechon kawali, chocolate anything, and any entrée from Aquagrill Restaurant (NYC).
  69. This is followed closely by ice cream, my mom’s beef nilaga, Japanese/Indian/Thai/Vietnamese/Cuban/Spanish food, my mom’s version of kalbi (a Korean beef dish), Spanish tapas, and Popeye’s spicy fried chicken.
  70. I love watching movies.
  71. But I’m not a fan of romantic comedies unless it involves people with British/Scottish/Irish accents. Like Bridget Jones or Notting Hill.
  72. I like action, sci-fi, dramadies, epics, period pieces, indies, foreign, and almost everything in between.
  73. Music is also a big part of my life.
  74. I love watching live bands/live music.
  75. There was a time in college though where I stopped listening to rock.
  76. In many ways, the hubs and I are opposites.
  77. But he’s my best friend and the world’s most patient, supportive, funny guy.
  78. I also think he’s hot.
  79. We started dating in November 1998.
  80. I thought he was arrogant and full of himself when I first met him.
  81. We have many funny stories of our mishaps before we started dating.
  82. One includes the time that I said I couldn’t go out with him because I had to study. Instead, I went to a pool hall.
  83. Guess who caught me red-handed at the pool hall? The hubs.
  84. The hubs and I hardly ever fight.
  85. I plan to keep it that way.
  86. I’d like to be more financially independent.
  87. It’s hard especially since I don’t make much and have credit card debt.
  88. Then again, I’ve only been working full-time since October 2003.
  89. I wish I wasn’t slightly jealous of other friends who make more than I do.
  90. After all, I have everything I need in life.
  91. I consider myself a spiritual person.
  92. I believe in God and heaven (and the scary existence of hell).
  93. I try to go to church every Sunday for my own peace of mind.
  94. But I do get lazy and sometimes not make it.
  95. I have some regrets in life that I will never get over.
  96. I am still hoping someone will invent a time machine.
  97. I blog to practice my writing and write out random thoughts.
  98. I have never gotten lower than a B+ on any paper I’ve turned it.
  99. I spelled ‘rendezvous’ correctly on a spelling test in the 3rd grade.
  100. I am working on a novel and have been doing so for many years.
  101. “Working on it” also includes just thinking about it. =)
  102. I’m a big procrastinator.
  103. I work best under pressure.
  104. I never thought I’d get married before I turned 25 years old and end up living in suburbia.
  105. I was never that girl who’s been dreaming of her perfect wedding since she was 5 years old.
  106. But heck, here I am and I’m pretty happy.
  107. Not that I actually live in suburbia. Our house is 10 minutes away from NYC separated only by a bridge.
  108. I plan on weaning my kids on The Cure, The Smiths, and other cool music.
  109. And dressing them all in black. Should I so desire.
  110. I consider myself to be unconventional in many ways.
  111. But I look so nondescript that you’d never think it.
  112. I can get excited at the smallest things.
  113. For example, I get excited when I hear one of my favorite songs on the radio.
  114. Or if I see a preview of a movie I’m really looking forward to watching.
  115. I dig scruffy, starving-artist, musician-looki
    ng, edgy guys.
  116. I think the following guys are hot: Colin Farell, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, Clive Owen, Viggo Mortensen.
  117. I have loved Johnny Depp since the days of 21 Jumpstreet.
  118. I would pay mega-bucks to meet Robert Smith of The Cure and spend the day with him.
  119. I used to be really obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness.
  120. Now, I can be considered a slob.
  121. I hate folding laundry and washing dishes.
  122. I prefer wine to beer.
  123. I hate, hate being hungover.
  124. My dad has seen me hungover and was cool about it.
  125. I don’t like disappointing my parents.
  126. So much so that I have gone along with things that I wish I didn’t.
  127. But I believe that things happen for a reason.
  128. I still don’t consider myself to be a “grown-up.”
  129. I’m waiting for that point in life where I will suddenly start listening to the Lite-FM station.
  130. I don’t think I’ll ever start listening to the Lite-FM station.
  131. I wish I was a little more responsible about spending.
  132. I tend to buy things when I want them and then worry about it later.
  133. I have a lot of clothes but end up wearing the same things over and over again.
  134. I also have a lot of shoes and purses.
  135. I’m always in-and-out of a designer-bag-phase.
  136. I have spent almost $800 on one single purse.
  137. In retrospect, I could’ve used that money towards a Les Paul.
  138. I have not bought a designer purse in 4 years.
  139. I consider myself to be generous.
  140. I like being punctual.
  141. I can’t stand the “oh man, I’m late!” feeling. Hate it.
  142. I wish I was more tech-savvy.
  143. I want to live in London or Madrid.
  144. I would like to own a home in Hawaii or St. Thomas.
  145. I want to be able to buy a home for my parents.
  146. I think I’m pretty lucky that I get what I want most of the time.
  147. But I am not a spoiled brat.
  148. And I work hard.
  149. I try to make the most of each day and make them a little less ordinary.
  150. And in the end, I try to get at least 7 hours of sleep.

Odds and Ends I don’t have something specific to …

4 April 2005

Odds and Ends

I don’t have something specific to write about, so I thought I’d throw in a whole bunch of odds and ends together:

  • I had a few friends over for poker this past Saturday. I’m a big fan of Texas Hold ‘Em, however, it doesn’t seem to be a big fan of me as I constantly lose! Heck, I even had a full-house at some point but by then, there was only 2 people in the game and everyone else folded. I need to work on my strategy. I luurve that game!
  • I had a massive migraine yesterday. I went to bed all chilly with a migraine and woke up with one. The pain even spread down my neck. I certainly did not feel good. I’m okay today but still feel slightly nauseous. I hate migraines!
  • Spring is here! The weather’s getting warmer! Plus, since we’re an hour ahead again (due to Daylight Savings Time), it’s actually sunny when we wake up and sunny when we leave work! I love spring since it means I can finally put away the thick winter coat and start busting out the skirts again. My spring and summer ‘uniform’ is a skirt and tank top (or a skirt and shirt) plus flip-flops.
  • My new goal is to start jogging in the mornings at least 2x a week (in addition to cardio at the gym). I’m going to Miami again for our anniversary and I want to look hot for the hubs. I have to face the fact that I will never have a 6-pack, but I can at least try to get rid of the spare tire around my middle so it’s easier to suck in my gut.
  • Every time I think I’m over the whole body-issue thing, something inevitably comes up and I’m back to whining about not being skinny. I just want to get more toned and muscular and reduce my body fat to 20%. That’s not too much to ask, isn’t it? Well it is if I continue to eat ice cream every night and snarf down 3 cupcakes in one day.
  • We owe taxes again this year. What gives! #&$@! I thought owning a house supposedly makes your taxes go lower! We owe the government money even though I already give them most of what I make. I wish I made more money so I can save more money. My parents’ 30th wedding anniversary is coming up and would love to give them a gift such as a cruise somewhere or throw a huge party for them. I can’t quite do that since I don’t have the funds yet. I can’t split the costs between my brothers either since one is still in college, and one just entered high school! But I do plan on treating my parents to dinner along with some of their friends. So I’m saving up some cash for May.
  • I just realized that I’m a comments-whore. I like reading comments on my blog but hardly get any. I know I’m not writing an intellectual treatise here nor do I have anything controversial to say, but it’s nice to get some feedback now and then. As my friend Ray says: don’t be a blurker!

  • Eating a candy bar. Shite. Almost ate the whole thing in less than 3 minutes! Have 4 squares left. Must have willpower and not eat the whole thing!
  • I really dig watching bands. The next shows I want to watch are: Bloc Party, The Bravery, Controller Controller, and Keane. Of course, all of them are sold out right now and the only tickets I have are to Controller Controller’s show. I’ll work it out somehow.

Speaking of Bands….

Friends have asked me time and time again when my band is going to play. We were actually set to play this month but things are slowly unraveling at this point. We haven’t practiced in a while, partly because 2 of us were on holiday. However, even before I left for my holiday, we started having issues with our bass player. She hasn’t shown up for the past 3 practices and didn’t even call to explain. Finally, she did send an e-mail out saying her grandmother was sick and that she was stressed out. Of course, we told her to take some time and that we understood. But that was 2 weeks ago. Since then, we’ve e-mailed her asking if she needed more time to just do her own thing and just to let us know where we stand. She hasn’t gotten back to us. So we don’t know how her grandma is, how she is, or how she feels about us. Bottom line is that we’re left in the dark. My bandmate thinks we should just start fielding out for new bassists just in case. I’m inclined to think she’s right since the bassist has been ignoring us. We don’t want to pressure her if she’s having a family crisis; all we wanted was an e-mail or a call saying something like “I can’t deal with the band for a month or something” or “I still want to be in the band, I just can’t play for another 2 weeks or so.” We just want something definite, you know?

We haven’t got anything done and it feels like we’re stuck in a rut. I would definitely love to start playing out at gigs, but I feel we’re going nowhere. We just got a new drummer in January, and now we have to get a new bassist? Talk about starting from scratch. I guess we’ll just have to take it day by day.